Husband wife jokes:-
Khatarnak, Jaanleva Technology problem-
Wife to husband – where were you on Saturday night?
Husband- ohh, there was a urgent work I was asked to finish,
so had to stay back in office.
Wife – Ohh..Really? Then why your "Fitband" shows you burned 300
calories
and your heart rate was more than normal at 1 AM in Night?
Husband- Silent...
Wife-Violent...(*_*)
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Husband wife jokes:-
One day a wife checked the names/contact saved in her husband's mobile
Eye treatment
Treatment of lips
Heart treatment
Body Massage
Wife dialed her number in anger ...
Her name came named as 'incurable'.
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Whatsapp from Husband to Wife
Dear Sweetheart,
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. My One and
only Cuddly-Wuddly Honey
Your husband
Wife's Response
Apple of My Eye,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1) The Milk man agreed on 5 kisses for one month's milk.
2) The electricity man only agreed after 10 kisses.
3) Your house owner is coming every day and taking 2 kisses instead of
the rent.
4) Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some
other items ...........
Plz don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 25 kisses and I
hope I can complete
the month using this balance.
.
Only Yours Cutie pie
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Wife: Judge Sahab Mujhy mere husband se Divorce chahiye.
Judge: Magar wo to No.-1 kabaddi champion hai. Wife: Yeh hi to problem
hai.
Anadi Khiladi sirf Chhookar kar bhaag jaata hai.
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Pati apni patni ka hath apne hath mein liye bajar mein ghum rha tha.
Tabhi Rastey mein uska dost usey mila aur bola –
“Kya Baat hai yar, Shadi ke itne saal bad bhi apni patni ke prati
Itna Pyar dekh kar Dil khush ho gya.”
Pati: Arey, Aisa kuch nahi hai yar,
Iska hath Chhodte hi,
Ye kisi bhi Dukan mein ghus jati hai, Isliye pakda hua hai.
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Sharabi : Agar mere hath mein Sarkar hoti to,
Mein Desh ki Takdeer badal deta…
Sharabi ki Wife (Gusse se): Arey,
Pahele apna Pajama to badal le, Karam jale…
Subah se meri Salwar pahan kar Ghum rha hai.
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Wife: Har Successful aadmi ke piche 1 aurat hoti hai.
Husband: Aur agar 1 se jyada aurtey hui to?
Khatarnaak jawab…
Wife: To bad me us Safal aur mahan aadmi ki kahani
“Sawdhan India” mein dikhate hai.
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Wife agar kuch bole to,
Apni Gardan ko 2 bar upar niche karein.
Ye Yog sab yog ka baap hai,
ye Yog aapke Khushal Jivan ki Kunji hai…
Dhayn rahe –
Gardan ko kabhi Baye Daye na ghumaye,
Ye bahut khatarnaak sabit ho sakta hai…
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Helmet aur patni ka swbhav
ek jesa hota hai
sir par bithakar rakho
to jaan bachi rahgi.....new pati patni jokes
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1 Wife ka Whatsapp Status
mai tum par viswas karti hu
par yaad rakhna mera viswas aur
tumhara haddiya ek sath tuttegi
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Shaadi ke baad husband-wife movie dekhne gaye
Husband - tum purus ko kis Nazar se dekhti ho
Wife - Saadi ke baad- "Ek tha Tiger" aur
saadi se pahle "Tiger abhi jinda hai"
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Patni apne Pati se: "jee, main tumhaara dil mein rahana chaahati hoon."
Pati: "theek hai. par vahaan doosara aurrat se ladana mat.....pati patni
jokes
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baarish aur patni Shuru-Shuru mein achchhi lagti hai .....
baad mein....kich kich kich kich ....
dhyaan se hanso kahi patni dekh na le varana ole bhi pad sakata hai !
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Pati patni jokes- Pati patni ki godh mein leta hua thaa.
Patni: Kaisa lag raha hai ji?
Pati: Aise jaise Bhagwan Vishnu shesh naag ki Godh mein lete hon.
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Biwi aur saali main kon zyada achi hoti hai?
Answer: Saali behtar(BEST) hai.
Kaash woh biwi ke bagair mil sakti.
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Pati apni patni se (suhagraat ko):
Jaaneman apna chand sa chehra to dikaho...
Chehra dekte hi pati bola:
Arey tumhare chehre par to kale dhabbe or gadde hai,
tumhare maa baap ne mujhe dhoka diya hai.
Patni: Dear recent research se chand ka yahi roop samne aaya hai.
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Wife: Kaash tum aise sms hote jise
Main Zindagi bhar save karke rakhti!
Husband: Aur kaash tum
aisi Ringtone hoti jise
main har hafte badal sakta.
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Wedding Broker: Tumhe kaisi ladki chahiye? Man: Mujhe chand jaisi ladki
chahiye, jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!
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Saadi ki pahli raat ko patni boli-
Aaap mere prannath aur mein apke charno ki dasi.
Shaadi ke baad woh ho Gaya Charandas aur,
woh ho gayi prano ki pyaasi.
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Pyaar me humne esa bij boya
Kabhi usne kapra dhoya
Kabhi usne mughe dhoya
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Kaun Banega Crorepati mein mujhse 1
Crore ka prashn(Question) puchha gaya ki
"Aap ki nazar mein duniya ki sabse
khatarnaak mahila kaun hai?"
kasam se maine 1 Crore ko thokakar
maar di par naam nahin batya
kyonki shaam ko ghar bhi jaana tha....
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Kaun Banega Crorepati husband wife Jokes
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According to Right to Privacy now wife can't ask...
*****
Where are you?
When will you come?
Whom are you talking to?
What's your program?
Why your mobile was busy?
Whom are you with?
How much are you earning?
*****
All thanks to Supreme Court. I hope I have understood the judgement
correctly!
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Aaj subah se hi mere mitr likh rahe hain ...
"jo amrt pite hain unhen Dev kahate hain aur jo vish pite hain unhen
MahaaDev kahte hain!"
are bhai ... jo Rojaana donon hi cheez thoda thoda karake pite hain unhen
bhi to PatiDev kahte hain!
new husband wife jokes
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Husband-Aajkal ghar me Wife bhi baat-baat mein GST-GST bolane lagi
hai.
ghar mein koi bhi bahas chal raha hai vah GST bol kar bahas ko khatm kar
deti hai.
tang aakar main poonchh hi liya: - "ye tum baat karte-karte beech mein
hi GST bol kar chal dete ho- kya matalab hai tumhaara ?
aur usane jo javaab diya to Mai sar pakad kar baith gaya
G - galati(mistake)
S - bas(only)
T - tumhaari(Yours) hai ....
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Yadi beevi ke naam par 2.5 laakh jama karaane ki chhutti hai to,
saali ke naam par bhi 1.25 laakh jama karaane ki chhoot honichaahie.~
akhil bhaaratiy jeeja sangh!
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Pati: aaj se tum Manager ke saath rahane vaali ho.
Patni: awww kaise hon vo dikhane mein?
Pati: paagal kaheen ki, main Manager ban gaya hoon.
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Pati patni me jhagda ho raha tha
Pati - Me koi tumse darta hu
Patni - Darte to tum ho,
pahli baar jab tum mere ghar aye
the to pure 250 logo ke sath aye the
or mughe dekho me akele chale ayi na
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Dev aur Patidev donon mein kya antar hai?
Dev ki aarti - Sukhkarta, Dukhharta...
Patidev ki aarti - Aisaakarta, Vaisaakarta !
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Wife: shaadi ke baad tum mujhase Jaada pyaar nahi karte...
Husband: Darling Exam clear hone ke baad kaun padhata hai?
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It is said that Husband is the head of D family,
But
Remember that wife is D Neck of D family.
& the Neck can turn the Head exactly D way she wants.
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(-.-) Enjoy latest new husband wife jokes; put a big smile on your loving
wife's face sharing funny husband and wife jokes in hindi on her
cellphone.
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A white couple gets a black child.
Angry husband asks- You white, Me white. Why is baby black?
Wife- You hot, Me hot. Baby burnt!
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth
shut and his cheque-book open!
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True bravery is 2 arrive home.....fully drunk......a latenight
out.....& wife waiting with a jhadu and u ask: Hey abhitak safai kar
rahi ho?
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Wife: Our new neighbour always kisses his wife when he goesto work, why
don't you do that? Husband: How can I? I don't even know her.
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Wife 2 Husband: Did u Have any GF before marriage ?
Husband remains silent ?
Wife: what is D meaning of silence?
Husband: Wait.. let me count...
